I wanna grow up once again ..

My student days are about to end .. :-(
Life has become so boring and monotonous. Everything around me bores me now. My last semester cursed me with heaps of time. We know that time doesn't move back for us but it is seldom told that doesn't move forward either. It’s unfortunate that one cannot escape from living every moment of time. According to me time is the most mysterious element of the nature. In our happy days, time seems to be running hastily ahead of its schedule while it reluctantly slows down in our sorrowful days.
At one level, things are so uncertain for me, there is this job offer of which I am skeptical of joining and there is this offer that fulfills my dream of doing my masters. My life is now behaving like a pendulum where-in my thoughts are oscillating between these two extremes. I am tired with this meaningless journey of my thoughts.I want this stupid pendulum to come to a halt.
At another level, I am going through the roller coaster ride of my relationships. The real roller coaster ride at-least has the rail road to keep things in control, but there are no such courtesies in the nature’s amusement park, it’s theme is way ahead deadlier. I have been on this ride for quite a long, and it became boring too. But thankfully, the ride is closing in slowly.

I never knew growing up would be such a pain. I heard my friends talking about the cruelty of this reality but never experienced it as i am now. Recently I had to do this job which was kind of tough for me to do it alone. Unfortunately none of my friends were available to accompany me. That day, I missed my daddy the most, coz I realized then that he is the only person in the world who can come for me at any time keeping his work aside no matter how important it is. Even he was not available that day as hez living in tirupati now.

However, I called up my dad and told him that I had to do this job alone. That day on phone, keeping all his important work aside my dad explained me each and every minutest detail that would help me in performing the job comfortably. As my dad was doing so I realized how much I still wanna be a kid .. how much I still wanna grow under his shade .. how much I don't wanna become independent ...
As a kid everyone dreams to become independent, at-least I dreamt. But today, I am afraid I don’t wanna become one. I now know that this incident is just a trailer of my coming future. That’s scaring me. At this point of time the only thing that comes to my mind is this song …

Bachpan to gaya
Jawani bhi gayi
Ek pal to ab humein
Jeene do jeene do
Give me some sunshine
Give me some rainGive me another chanceI wanna grow up once again
Na na nana .. na na nana .. na na nana ..
YES, I wanna go back to those days ..

When my mother used to wake me up for the school and i would never wake up making the same well-worn reason of "stomach ache" to skip my school and play "teacher-teacher" with other kids of my street.

When my father used to forcefully drop me into the skool becoz of the repeated complaints made by my teachers.

When neethakka used to do all my biology diagrams and homework.
When my favorite pastime used to be fighting with vani .. I remember once pushing her through the heights of the staircase and how it left a permanent scar on her face :D.

When I used to wear the night dress stitched by my mom from her torn saree, sleep beside my dad and feel protected.

"I wanna go back to those days and live every moment of joy and sorrow all over again. I don't wanna become an independent person. I wanna live under these wonderful ppl's shadow always".

Dedicated to my family .. :)
Also .. Happy Birthday Neethakka .. :)No matter how many great friends we make in our lives, It is our family which gives us unselfish love and concern even without asking for it. Love my family .. !!